Just today, while out with my girls, I had a lady ask me if Samantha was my daughter. I told her she was correct and then she went on and on about how much Sam looked like me. It makes me laugh because if she saw her Daddy, then she would no doubt say that Samantha was his.
Parents often take pride in these comparisons. We love to hear that our kids are miniature versions of us. That is until they do something wrong, annoying, or just plain weird. That's when I like to pull out the "Do you know what YOUR child did today?" card when Peter comes home. Suddenly, I no longer take ownership of them. They are not my blood. Because I know there is nothing, within this beautiful, perfect being of a person, that could be part of a creation that would offspring a nose picker, liar, stubborn, window-licker of a child. Never.
(Mini-me trying to be like Mommy by stuffing her chest. This is what blackmail is all about.)
It's incredible how much our children can be so much like us. Whether the child is adopted, birthed, or the neighbor kid from down the street, kids have a way of echoing our actions so perfectly. The good, the bad, and especially, the ugly.
That's why, when one of my kids, let's call them, "sweet little thing" decides to mouth off to their Mommy, I am never really surprised by what comes out. Mostly because I said a very similar thing only days ago.
Example:
Sister:"Sweet little thing, can you grab that bag over there and bring it here?"
Sweet little thing: "Did your legs break?"
Sweet little thing has many traits of mine, but the one that sticks out more than her eyes, brown, thick hair, or long fingers is the way she responds to others. Quick, mean, and edgy.
My mouth has gotten me into so much trouble over the years. That filter between the brain and mouth often malfunctions and I find myself in trouble, embarrassed, or hurting one that I love.
Why is this little part of my body so powerful? Why can't I control it?! Why can't my kids just mirror my good traits? That way, everyone will know the perfect person that I think in my head I am.
It comes down to the heart.
My desire is to be something worth mirroring. My responses and words cut so deep and I can see my bad habits rubbing off on them. It's no wonder that James called our tongue a "two edged sword." It cuts deep and leaves lasting scars.
The solution is simple and complex.
What flows out of my heart reveals my heart. No matter how hard I try to conform the outside and to make goals of "never yelling" or "soft answers", if my heart is not flowing out those things, then I will always fail.
Filling our hearts with truth is the start. When we start our day off with the things of God and not of man, we set up a path of success. This doesn't mean we will never fail. The reality is we live in this flesh that continually pulls us towards darkness. We need to flood it with the Light on a constant basis. My day is always better when I grab even one nugget from God's Word and hold onto it for the day.
I wish I could say that I was always a good example to the girls, to my friends, to my husband. But my real world is that I'm a nonstop work in progress. There are so many ebbs and flows. So many days that I just can't get it right and I just don't know what I'm doing. But thankfully, my kids don't just have me for an example. They can copy Jesus. God in man. Perfection incarnate.
My mouth has gotten me into so much trouble over the years. That filter between the brain and mouth often malfunctions and I find myself in trouble, embarrassed, or hurting one that I love.
Why is this little part of my body so powerful? Why can't I control it?! Why can't my kids just mirror my good traits? That way, everyone will know the perfect person that I think in my head I am.
It comes down to the heart.
My desire is to be something worth mirroring. My responses and words cut so deep and I can see my bad habits rubbing off on them. It's no wonder that James called our tongue a "two edged sword." It cuts deep and leaves lasting scars.
The solution is simple and complex.
What flows out of my heart reveals my heart. No matter how hard I try to conform the outside and to make goals of "never yelling" or "soft answers", if my heart is not flowing out those things, then I will always fail.
Filling our hearts with truth is the start. When we start our day off with the things of God and not of man, we set up a path of success. This doesn't mean we will never fail. The reality is we live in this flesh that continually pulls us towards darkness. We need to flood it with the Light on a constant basis. My day is always better when I grab even one nugget from God's Word and hold onto it for the day.
I wish I could say that I was always a good example to the girls, to my friends, to my husband. But my real world is that I'm a nonstop work in progress. There are so many ebbs and flows. So many days that I just can't get it right and I just don't know what I'm doing. But thankfully, my kids don't just have me for an example. They can copy Jesus. God in man. Perfection incarnate.
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