Why so happy?

I've learned first hand that pediatric cancer is a nasty, miserable business. Not only have we watched our own daughter suffer, but we have encountered so many families on this road, who have their own sweet ones that are fighting the battle. 

It's easy to see why these families tend to ask, Where is the good in this world? If God was a loving God, why is He doing this?

Psalm 4:6-7:"There be many that say, Who will show us any good? LORD, lift thou up the light of thy countenance upon us. Thou hast put gladness in my heart, more than in the time that their corn and their wine increased."

Remember when Moses spoke with God on the mountain? And when he returned back down to the people they could not look upon his face because it was so bright? In fact, he had to cover it with a veil. 

Only God can bring the light in dark times. Or even in happy times. How many times have you heard of millionaires suffering from depression and even committing suicide. Why? Because even when things are plentiful, if God is not there, there is no light. 

I find more joy  and happiness in this season in my life than in other days. How can that be? What seems like the most hopeless situation, I feel the light of Christ warming my soul. It's because He is present. He is here. 

There have been many other periods of my life where things seemed to be looking up. Bills paid with money to spare, seemingly happy marriage with minimal arguments, healthy and happy children. But within my soul, there was a sadness and sense of feeling lost and alone. 

When we seek Him, He will answer the call. And when your times are desperate and FULL of need, there is much calling going on. 

I'm not saying that I walk around with a permanent smile on my face these days.  I don't. There is still sadness in the fact that we are on our last days with Molly. My dear, sweet baby girl. But I feel His light shining on me constantly throughout the day. I need not worry or feel despair. He's orchestrated everything. And I am not scared. I have a light in an otherwise dark place.